Wedding ceremonies

Your wedding ceremony sets the tone for the rest of your wedding day and creates memories for you, your family and friends for years ahead

Getting married is about making one of the most important legal, emotional, social, economic and practical commitments you will ever make in your life.

It is a day too, that will never be able to be repeated.

Therefore the wedding ceremony is the most precious part of the day, even if it is not the longest.

That's the reason, we traditionally go to a lot of trouble to make the occasion different to our daily life. We choose special clothes, family and friends, words, music, place to signify the importance of what we are doing. And we celebrate with special words, music, food and drink at the reception to support us in dealing with the magnitude of the change of role we have accepted.

So we don't get married to be dressed up and have a special party. We dress up and plan a special time because we are taking a huge step in our lives!

The pressure to spend big needs to be balanced with the effect of that spending on your future. There are many ways to make your wedding day special without over-committing yourselves. See our section on 'Let the celebration be your gift'.

Under Australian law, the point at which you are married is when you will take each other as husband and wife, in front of two adult witnesses and a registered marriage celebrant.

This comes from our historic roots where a couple declaring before their community that they were going to live together as married, was THE process for marrying. Registering marriage for commoners is a more recent practice, historically speaking of course !

Giving one's word is a powerful action to take. Any promise or commitment we make is important. However when we vow those promises publicly we give them and those who receive them more power, honour and respect.

This is partly why there must be at least two witnesses in addition to the authorised celebrant. It is also about reducing the risk of fraud and a protection in case anything should go wrong in ensuring the marriage is registered.

In a civil ceremony, this is why your vows or promises are the crux of the marriage ceremony. Time spent giving thought and care to the promises made here, making sure they are honest and meaningful, is one of the most valuable things you can do for your wedding day and your future marriage.

Writing your own vows has increased in popularity for this reason. It is not too hard to do.

Simply take time to think about what you consider is really important for your husband or wife to be or do for you. And conversely what you consider your responsibilities to your marriage partner and your marriage. Make a list of words or phrases. Do this individually then discuss with your partner. Your celebrant may assist you in writing those for use in the ceremony or have examples for you to choose from, which reflect your needs and values.

A ‘Marriage’ ceremony may do many things, including

Reviewing your journey as individuals and as a couple
Outlining your expectations, hopes and dreams for the future
Providing an opportunity for parents and other married couples’ to share the challenges and benefits, and associated experiences of married life
Give friends an opportunity to express their support
Celebrating your love and commitment to one another with family and friends.

Ceremonies usually involve music, singing, story-telling, poetry, prose and could also involve dance, processions and the use of symbols. Such a ceremony could involve families, peer and community groups participating as much as possible.

In many ways, the marriage ceremony is a 'graduation' ceremony for parents who have raised your child from babyhood to adulthood. The marriage ceremony clearly hands the responsibility for their care of their adult son or daughter to another person, should they not be able to look after themselves, through illness or incapacity.

Providing an opportunity for a parents blessings and/or a formal 'thank you' to parents in your ceremony, rather than just at the reception, is a wonderful tribute to make, as your ceremony carries a special standing for your parents and guests.

The role of your marriage celebrant is to:

make sure all conditions for eligibility for marriage are verified, the ceremony includes the legal wording required and that the marriage is registered
your needs and wishes are catered for and that the marriage ceremony's form and content are psychologically and socially appropriate
lead and guide the ceremony through its various stages
conclude the ceremony, by affirming the participants and the value of this next stage of life’s journey

Ceremonies are usually followed by some food and drink, here the wedding reception, appropriate to the situation. Depending on where such an event is held, such a meal could be a picnic, an BYO luncheon or afternoon tea in a community hall or catered for by an appropriate restaurant or function centre.

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Wedding ceremonies

In a civil ceremony, this is why your vows or promises are the crux of the marriage ceremony. Time spent giving thought and care to the promises made here, making sure they are honest and meaningful, is one of the most valuable things you can do for your wedding day and your future marriage.

The role of your marriage celebrant is to: