Recently, most celebrants were sent a box of DVDs, courtesy of the Australian Government's Department of Families, Housing, Community Service and Indigenous Affairs. There has been some discussion in the celebrant world about the value of these DVDs and how / if anyone is using them.
I have watched the DVDs, and while not to my own personal taste, some couples have enjoyed them. However, while filling in paperwork with couples, I often throw one in so they can see what the DVD is all about, and I have been giving couples the opportunity to decide for themselves if they have a use for them. As it turns out, there is a wedding expo coming up fairly soon, and a group of us have decided to pool our resources and offer them to prospective clients and marrying couples as a freebie. It will be shown on the laptop, so they can decide for themselves if it is something they would like to watch together.
I enjoyed the fact that the DVD brought up issues for couples to discuss. Many of the couples that I marry have been living together for several years however, already have children, mortgages and financial commitments, and have already made some of the life choices mentioned in the DVD. One couple explained to me that the DVD seemed to make an assumption that they were dewy-eyed, fresh-faced and naive as they headed towards their marriage day, instead of a professional couple well on their way to their third baby, fourth investment property and grappling with a parent with dementia!! Having said all that, the one couple that I married in their early twenties, first major love of their lives, loved the DVD, and felt it brought them closer together as they went through it and discussed the issues. My thinking is that there would be a continuum of people who would enjoy it and get a lot out of it - and there would be others who would find it a waste of time.
I think it is a good resource to have, just as it is good to have details of people such as Relationships Australia, Immigration and a host of other experts. Should I need the DVD for a particular couple, such as the very young couple, it is nice to have a resource that might assist them to make their marriage a success. I might add that they wanted to watch and discuss it with me - and it gave me pleasure to refer them to Relationships Australia, who also use the DVDs (we were not the only ones to receive the box of DVDs - apparently different community groups and churches also got their supply).
I hope that helps the discussion about the DVDs, and whether they are a waste of time or not. I sit firmly on the fence on this issue - I appreciate that someone took the time, effort and energy to make the DVDs, deeming that there was an urgent societal need for couples to reflect on significant relationship issues prior to marriage. There are things that I would have wanted included, if someone had asked, but there you go...
Nancy Batenburg
Usually Darwin,
but temporarily in study mode in Brisbane again (only two more years to go...)
