V8.2 My first wedding

Just reading these words makes me smile because it all sounds so easy, so effortless.  Let me take you back seven months to when I was first appointed.  Once it sunk in that I was now a Registered Marriage Celebrant to say that I was panic stricken would be somewhat of an understatement.  I initially walked around in a daze thinking what am I doing, where do I start, I’m not ready and if anyone actually calls me I’ll die?

The very first thing I did was to join the ACCN and was very touched when Rona actually rang me to explain something personally!  I remember asking lots of silly questions and the advice she gave me was incredibly helpful.  From there I joined a wonderful Celebrant Association and between the two have learned more from the generosity of the many experienced Celebrants who kindly offer their advice to all who ask for it.

In the following months I studied the forums, the ACCN site, The Explanatory Notes, The Marriage Act and OPD DVD notes and tried to absorb as much information as possible while sometimes hesitantly asking a question.  I set up my website, developed my business plan and forms, purchased Celebrant software, a PA system, appropriate clothing and started to advertise.  Now that I was ready nothing happened!

I finally had my first call and he booked me on the spot.  They were from interstate and would be arriving two days before the wedding.  I must say I was lucky to have a lovely couple who wanted a simple wedding.  They paid my booking fee, posted the NOIM and all other paperwork I requested and we communicated via email and phone until they were happy with the ceremony.

As promised two days before they came to sign the declarations and provide their original documents, separately I might add as they didn’t want to see each other before the wedding.  Well they both had some minor changes, slightly different ideas and they didn’t want a rehearsal.  I practiced and practiced the ceremony to the point where my family could recite it too!  I packed my bag with countless copies of spare forms, certificates, batteries, first aid kits, pens, water etc and checked and double checked I had everything before we left.  I was certainly nervous, though surprisingly calm and was actually looking forward to it.  Friends and family rang me to wish me well and my calm demeanour was as surprising to them as to me, though nobody mentioned it at this point especially me in case I jinxed myself.

We set off with plenty of time to spare and arrived 45 minutes early.  My husband came with me as my chauffer, roadie, PA operator, personal photographer and moral support person.  The wedding was planned for 3.30pm and it was one of the most beautiful sunny days after a long wet Christmas.  It was a large park overlooking Moreton Bay surrounded by huge fig trees, glistening water and Saturday picnickers.  A red carpet, a few chairs and signing table were set up under one of the great shady fig trees with a few young men minding the spot.  I introduced myself and was assured that everyone would be here soon.  Did I mention the wind, or should I say the gale that was blowing?  I thought I would be blown away along with all my paperwork.  We set up the PA and I pulled out my ceremony and tried to juggle it with one hand holding my microphone with the other, pages billowing in the breeze.  A change of position at least kept the pages somewhat flat.

Waiting, waiting…..I’m waving to my husband who had set up a chair next to the PA, pretending to check things in my bag and feeling a bit of an idiot standing all by myself until finally some of the guests started arriving.  The groom’s aunty was chatting with me and talking like I was an old hand at this.  The groom finally arrived with a few minutes to spare and was having a great time talking to the guests.  I wasn’t game to put out my register with the wind so kept it in my bag on one of the chairs until it was time to sign the paperwork.

As we were waiting for the bride I was getting ready to announce that we would be starting shortly and ask everyone to turn off their mobile phones when suddenly the groom’s father yelled “they’re here” and the bridesmaids starting walking across the park.  I scrapped that intro as it was too late now.  It was show time!

They had no background music but turned on the CD player for the processional.  The bride was now standing with us and the music was still playing and playing.  I was wondering how long they were going to let it play then decided to start the ceremony anyway.  By now I was feeling a little nervous but I kept reminding myself it’s not about me and as I spoke, calm and well formed words came out of my mouth.  The wind was playing havoc with the PA too so some quick shifting by my husband fixed that.  I kept slowly reading, looking at the guests, looking at my couple and inwardly feeling quite shocked that I was looking so calm and collected when I really wasn’t!  The wind was also playing havoc with my voice.  I was getting so dry that at one stage could hardly speak.  Thank goodness I brought water!

So far so good, it was time to sign the register.  I instructed the guests to stay where they were as we signed.  I whipped out the register and proceeded to instruct the bride and groom, then the witnesses where to sign and then I signed.  I stood back as photos were taken and when they were finished tried to get the presentation certificate into the envelope without losing it.  Okay, onto the final stage, where did I put that microphone?  I gathered myself back into position to see the bride and groom casually walking down the red carpet, kissing guests and being congratulated.  Surely they’re not leaving; maybe they’re just saying a quick hello?  No, they were leaving!  I started calling them, “Ah, excuse me, Name and Name”, no response.  Again I called them, nothing, so I walked up behind them and tapped them on the shoulder.  I told them that we weren’t quite finished yet and they followed me back to where we were with bemused expressions.  I finished the ceremony, presented them with their certificate and introduced them as Mr and Mrs and it was all over.

This sounds quite comedic, but was actually quite lovely.  If nothing else I learned to be prepared for anything and go with the flow.  Afterwards the groom’s mother, aunty and many guests came up to congratulate me on such a lovely ceremony, none being aware it was my first.  The bride and groom also were very happy.  I felt quite proud, relieved it was over and excited for the next one of four ceremonies I have booked in the following months.  I walked around with a smile all afternoon and absolutely loved it!

I have worked hard in the last few months to be as educated, thorough and professional as I can be but no amount of study can replace the knowledge that comes with experience.  Thank you to all the Celebrants out there who freely share their advice and tips so kindly.  I couldn’t have done it without you!

Elizabeth

Elizabeth Wilkie
Civil Marriage Celebrant
Carina, Brisbane

www.elizabethwilkie.com.au