Coming of age

This transition has much firmer guidelines and social memory to inform the development of ‘Coming of Age’ ceremonies. 18th and 21st birthdays have been around for some time.

The rights and responsibilities of adulthood are much more clearly defined legally.

Thus it could be assumed that these rights and responsibilities are more likely to be understood by our society generally. Is this so for our adolescents?

The major focus of turning 18 seems to be on having the right to drink alcohol and smoke cigarettes, as if legal drug taking is the ultimate goal of being an adult ! This statement is made as an observation, not as a criticism or moral judgment,

How could our society use ceremony to ensure its younger citizens were more aware of the broader range of their rights and responsibilities to provide a more balanced view of “being an adult”?

Whether celebrants initiate such ceremonies themselves or are hired to facilitate them, there is a lot of work to be done in developing such ceremonies in the Australian context.

Whilst churches and schools may play some role in this period of transition, the key role that may be played by civil celebrants, is the design and delivery of such ceremonies that allow for social inclusion.

Civil ceremonies are unique in that they can uphold basic human rights and responsibilities, whilst respecting the cultural, social, religious, gender, economic, ability and other differences between people.

A ‘Coming of Age’ ceremony may

Celebrate the rights and responsibilities bestowed on the new adult
Mourn the loss of childhood privileges and protections
Acknowledges the benefits and challenges of this newly acquired, though not necessarily experienced, role.
Affirms the importance of learning to be ‘inter-dependent’
Affirm the ongoing support of parents, mentors, friends and peers

Ceremonies usually involve music, singing, story-telling, poetry, prose and could also involve dance, processions and the use of symbols such as lighting candles or using Dreams & Treasure boxes.

Such a ceremony could involve families, peer and community groups participating as much as possible.

The role of a celebrant would be to

work with the group to plan the ceremony for its form and content are psychologically and socially appropriate
lead and guide the ceremony through its various stages,
conclude the ceremony, by affirming the participants and the value of this next stage of life’s journey

Ceremonies are usually followed by some food and drink, again appropriate to the situation. Depending on where such an event is held, such a meal could be a picnic, an BYO luncheon or afternoon tea in a community hall or catered for by an appropriate restaurant or function centre.

Being newer ceremonies finding a celebrant to use may take a little time. Please contact us if you need assistance locating such a celebrant.

If you have ideas to share about how such a ceremony could work or suggestions for its components please write to us at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

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