 "Let the celebration be YOUR gift ? "
"Let the celebration be your GROUP gift ? "
Often we think of a ceremony such as a wedding, naming, birthday, anniversary or even a funeral being solely for the person or couple that is the centre of the occasion.
However, there is another way of viewing such occasions ....
That is - as a ceremony being an opportunity to make a gift to everyone present, as well as to the individual or couple whose special event is being celebrated.
As hosts of a ceremony:
If you are planning a ceremony for your wedding, your child's naming, your birthday, wedding anniversary or even your funeral, think about how this occasion could involve or touch your family and friends so that they too receive the pleasure and benefit of their time spent together.
How often do the bride and groom make sure there is seating for everyone ? Just because the ceremony is held outdoors, does not mean that the guests find it pleasant to stand for up to an hour, sometimes on uneven ground, from the time they arrive, until the end of the ceremony ... and longer of they need to wait until the reception to be seated. it is hard to concentrate if one's feet are arching !
Many people do not like being the centre of attention. So they insist that the ceremony is cut short for this reason, with little thought given to the needs of their guests.
Without being disrespectful, the ceremony is also the 'entertainment' for the occasion. The ceremony, at a wedding for example, the central core and purpose of the event, not the food or drink however pleasant they may be ! So why not other special occasions ?
By allowing yourself to be the centre of attention is a gift you can give to your family and friends. But especially your family! Having the humility to do so is the price you pay, but easier to do when you realise that it is something you are giving more than receiving.
How often these days do families actually get together anyway? We live apart because employment opportunities can force that upon us.
Often the hatchings, matchings and dispatchings are the only times families get together !
A well planned ceremony can be a delightful time to inspire and encourage others to live and love more fully.
It can be an opportunity for families to
* spend quailty time together
* share and record family stories
* give talented members the opportunity to have their skills used and affirmed
* say what we appreciate about others, and
* thank them for their contributions to our lives and the lives of others.
A well planned ceremony can acknowledge those contributions people make to their families, friends and others - contributions that are often taken for granted when we know people well.
Our work contributions is one area where there is no longer the 40 year gold watch and pat of the back ! A family based ceremony can help address that issue.
Guests of a ceremony:
Mostly we each individually buy a lot of small gifts that may or may not be appreciated by the receiver.
Our directory has lots of traditional gift ideas from both national and local suppliers.
Alternatively, we can pool our money and other resources to buy something really special such as making the celebration THE gift.
We could pool our $$$$ to hiire a professional independent celebrant.
Like well designed stage play, a special event may cost from $ 600 to $ 2000 or more. This may seem a lot, but is it really if the price is spread across a lot of people and the event has longer lasting benefits.
A $ 600 ceremony package can be covered by
- 20 participants donating $ 30 per head OR
- 50 participants at $ 12 OR
- 100 participants at $6 per head
A $ 2000 ceremony package can be covered by
- 20 participants donating $ 100 per head OR
- 50 participants at $ 40 OR
- 100 participants at $ 20 per head
Refreshments and drinks can be covered by guests bringing or purchasing their own eg having a picnic or going to a club or restaurant afterwards.
Civil Celebrants have all the normal costs of running a small business – phone, fax, internet, advertising, motor vehicle, clothing, training, etc. – without a stipend and other resource support that religious celebrants have.
Whilst the actual event itself may only be one hour, there are hours spent in preparation and other normal business costs celebrants also need to cover such as:
- material costs for CDs, DVDs, “this is your life” or guest appreication albums, hire of equipment, etc
- hourly rates for interviewing the Guest/s of Honour
- hourly rates for talking with those who have offered to participate in the event
- hourly rates for event planning and preparation, emailing drafts to confirm information and processes
- hourly rates for travel etc.
What if the “Guest/s of Honour” are just too shy to agree to participate ?
The “Surprise Party” is often chosen as a way around this dilemma. Whilst this may make the guests feel good, it may back-fire on the person or people for whom the event is to be celebrated.
The ACCN does not recommend “total” surprises. People need to be prepared to be the centre of attention, even if it is for a short while. Elderly people may have even more difficulty being fully present to the occasion.
So it is recommended to ensure that the person is agreeable to having a gathering, even if certain aspect will be kept as a “surprise”.
There are other alternatives. You may consider hiring a celebrant to
- host a small an intimate gathering so the atmosphere is less overwhelming
- interview a family member to create a “This is Your Life” gift for a birthday or Christmas present, without a ceremony or celebration
- compile an “Appreciation” album by interviewing family and friends, and creating with photos etc, a special gift, without a ceremony or celebration.
Gift Certificates can be one way of making this happen at the receiver's convenience.
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