| Tribute to Elva Jean Farrell : RG Daughter
Elva Jean G was born on the XX 1914 at the beginning of World War 1, the middle sister of three girls : Margaret the eldest, Robina, nick named Bobbie, the youngest. Her father George and mother Maggie had married in their early thirties and devoted themselves to raising their family through those difficult times of the early 1900’s.
Though there was rather appropriately a racehorse called Elva Jean, Elva was named after the jazz musician Graham Bell’s mother. A newspaper story about them on the day Mum was born gave George and Maggie the inspiration for her name
The three sisters were close, but particularly Elva and Bobbie being nearer in age and interests. They teased Margaret mercilessly about her robust size, whilst enjoying the benefits of their slender frames, with activities such as callisthenics and ballroom dancing.
They were wonderful dressmakers and loved clothes. So they would each buy a length of dress material every Friday , come home that evening to cut the pattern and run it up for the following evening’s local dance or ball.
Elva left school at 15 to become a tailoress at Melbourne’s Farmers store. She always added though, that because she was a coat hand, she could and did make wonderful suit coats, but that she was not as proficient with the trousers. I think Bobbie often helped her in that regard.
Pop G, in the manner of the day, decided she would be a tailoress. And she became a good one.
Mum had a sense of adventure. At the age of 18 Elva had the opportunity to do a work exchange with another couple of female apprentices in Tasmania, and later the opportunity to be a two-piece swimsuit model on Bondi Beach. She accepted an invitation to attend mid-night Christmas mass with a Catholic boy – all vetoed by George who had his views on the proper conduct for a young woman.
Like most girls today, young Elva was preoccupied by all those things classically feminine – romance, fashion, dancing, parties, jewellery, good gossip, romance, movie stars, hair styles, going to the theatre, and more romance.
In my mind’s eye, I have a vision of her little family group, way back in 1930 in Pop’s classic Chev. roadster, heading over the Victorian border to Sydney. The girls by turns excited at their new life in Sydney and tearful at leaving their beloved Melbourne. With Elva’s passing all are now gone. A generation has passed on, leaving us sadder, but much richer in spirit for their having been amongst us.
Elva was the most concerned about their relocation. She cried all the way from Melbourne to Sydney with George telling her to ‘stop that nonsense’
She had many suitors most rejected for very practical reasons. One lived in Cooma (too cold) one was too old (26 when she was 18), another’s kisses - like a wet fish..
She caught Cecil’s eye in her big picture hat, which was to be her trade mark until hats went out of style and she focused on jewellery – the bigger the better – earrings, rings beads and bows. I wish I had taken more note of her stories so I could give you examples, for I did realise listening to her one day, that for every memory she held of significant moments in her life, she could recall the colour and style of the dress she was wearing
And whilst Cecil knew from the moment he saw her that she was the one for him, it wasn’t until he kissed her in one of the church fellowship’s home party games that she knew he was the one for her. Not that she let him know that immediately of course. There was a protocol to follow to keep him on his toes and not take her for granted. They courted for six years and were married in 1936..
Being married gave Elva opportunities she was unlikely to have been able to explore when single. She learnt to drive in 1939 whilst pregnant with Graham. She had made the upholstery and the convertible roof for the Alfa sports that Cec had created by cutting 18 inches out of the chassis of their touring style car.
She followed her man to Richmond air base, then to Queensland when he joined the air-force during the second world war. When he was posted overseas, Elva went home to her parents, but loved doing her duty for the war effort of entertaining the home-sick troups by playing cards and going to dances, as well as rolling the bandages of course.
She had been a traditional non-working wife for the first 20 years of marriage, having children R in1938, Gr in 1939, R in 47 and L in 51. It was Cec’s move the set up his own business in their mid-thirties that then gave her the opportunity to work which she loved. She loved the people contact, the hussle and bussle of business, . Unlike many other woman of that time, she had her own wage, bank account, and even her own Tab account.
Mum had the foresight to encourage Dad to buy the extra block of land at Silverwater, when he was reluctant to spend the small reserves they had. She had the energy to post 300 entries for the Bob Dyers “Pick a Box” that won them the equivalent of $60,000 by today’s standards. It was her willingness to live in a service station and to wait for 15 years before she could live in their dream home at Oatlands.
Whilst Elva was never to stray from her interest on the things feminine, she also loved those things traditionally seen as men’s sports. Driving cars, playing cards, going fishing, aussie rules football, betting on race horses. She would have loved to travel more and visit exotic places. She enjoyed her times touring with Cec, their trips to Tasmania and New Zealand and her trips with us to Fiji, Victoria, New Zealand, and those annual trips to Queensland to visit C and L and their children and grandchildren.
The prime agenda of Elva’s life was her family – her parents whom she rang everyday of her life and visited weekly, her sisters whom she contacted almost as often, her husband with whom she battled on occasions, but to whom she was devoted, her children whom she loved deeply regardless of the heartaches they occasionally caused, her grandchildren and great grandchildren who were always acknowledged at birthdays and Christmas with cards and gifts.
In thinking about Elva’s personality, like most of us, there were facets that were unlikely bedfellows. Elva was an intelligent and creative woman. Her sewing and knitting were her creative outlets. Whilst she sat with Cec in her senior years, after his strokes limited his activities, she knitted dozens of beautiful woolen patterned suits.
In their younger days, she thought up variations to the doctors and nurses games their church fellowship played, to even the score with the boys, Cec received a dose of castor oil for his troubles. Mum removed the ring from the guessing game’s string, which meant Dad could never guess correctly. He almost ended up naked as each wrong guess required an item of clothing to be removed. He was saved from complete humiliation by George and Maggie’s early return home, being pushed out the backdoor to get dressed in the dark.
And yet she retained an almost childlike unquestioning faith in the Presbyterian God of her family, and in the attitudes and values with which she was raised and those of her husband. Home, husband and family gave her life purpose and meaning.
The golden rule determined her actions – do unto others what you would have them do unto you’.
As a young Sunday school teacher, she said “wheel-barrow” when she came to a biblical word she could not pronounce, but was still doing her own bank account reconciliations at 85. All her life Elva said her evening prayers for all her family and friends, and those who were sick, hungry or lonely. Mum was a most extroverted person in that she got her energy from being with people and doing the practical things of living. She had her personal secrets and pains like anyone else, but with Mum what you saw is what you got.
Elva retained the 19th century superstitions of her grandparents – cross knives or shoes on the table meant a row in the house, black cats, a coin had to be in a new purse, the giver of knives or scissors had to be repaid with a small coin, one could not wear black to a wedding and the list goes on. It is rather ironic that her farewell is on Friday 13th, though under certain circumstances she thought that good luck – especially where lottery tickets were involved.
Yet Mum was primarily a modenist. She took up all the new trends of the day unquestioningly : chrome and glass, salamis and foreign cheese, plastic flowers with artificial scent, new gadgets and household equipment as soon as their budget could afford. If it was new it was good, old bad. This attitude pervaded her feelings to getting old. Mum simply refused to buy that line. She died her hair, wore colourful clothes (she had only ever worn black once in her life), read the latest news on Hollywood and the stars. In fact she grudgingly paid $2 to join the local Robertson Seniors Citizens at 88. Coming home with the words “Well I suppose that’s it. That makes me a senior.” Mum resented being asked to draw the Xmas raffle with the “ We’ll ask our oldest member” introduction rather than “ We’ll ask our newest member!”. ‘Silly grey-haired old biddies” she said. “They all look older than me”
Elva had the courage hop into her little Morris 10 alone late one night, to follow thieves, who had broken into the factory next door, take down their number plate and phone the police from the corner phone box half a mile way. And yet she was frightened of running out of conversation. The Farrell’s put on big parties once or twice a year for all their friends and loved ones so that they would be able to talk to one another and relieve Elva’s anxiety about what to say. That may seem strange as we all know Elva seemed to have no end to the things she could chat with folks about.
Mum was one of the kindest and most generous woman I have know. Her two sisters were the others. She would send her turban patterns to strangers who had lost their hair through cancer treatment, when she heard them in her New Idea or That’s Life.
Elva’s love and loyalty were expressed in the many little daily acts of service and giving of cards and little gifts – to acknowledge people’s birthdays and life changes such a graduations, retirement, overseas trips. We all know how dedicated she was to those things. I was particularly moved to know that she sent my father a “Happy Retirement” card and that it was the only one he received.
But then Dad wages were their money and Elva’s wages were hers. As I said before, Mum had her own bank account and when she won on the horses, she didn’t feel the need to dialogue with Dad about how the winnings were to be spent. Often it was a new charm for her gold bracelet or another piece of crystal.
Mum also liked to pull a leg or two occasionally, gently of course, just to get a reaction from people. She would make little political remarks she knew would get Steve and my backs up – our political viewpoints were different – just to stir and assert her independence.
The latter too was remarkable. Whilst Elva was so generous, she wanted in no way to be a burden on others. In her last months she was still concerned to know that she was paying her way and that her hospital fees were paid up to date.
Her independent feisty spirit never wavered as those who had the opportunity to visited her in recent years can attest.
In this limited time it has not been possible to justice to someone who lived for over 90 years. And how does one really know all those facets of a person whose relationships determine the way they are seen and the opportunities for the person’s attitudes, skills and talents to be expressed.
Elva had many role’s : daughter, sister, school girl, apprentice, wife, lover, house-keeper, mother, friend, sister-in-law, worker, mother-in-law, grandmother, great grandmother, patient, nurse, driver, trickster, dressmaker, gambler, benefactor, aunty, next-door neighbour to name a few.
We all saw a slightly different aspect of her spirit and her life. There is not one right view or way to describe her. We can reflect though, that Elva’s passing is an end of an era in our family. The last of those five people who came to Sydney over three quarters of a century ago is now gone.
And yet, for those of us who like to think there is an after-life, we are comforted to think the three sisters are together, that Elva and Cec are catching up on the blink of a eye they have been apart, and that the G household will be playing cards and having fun now they have their Elva finally home with them and their God.
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