When I hear the first rustle of autumn leaves I think of you, “My favourite time of year” you used to say. It is now my favourite time of year, the clear, balmy days make you feel it’s great to be outside and to be alive. I used to love the magic of summer, now, summer is too hot for me. I love the autumn colours, when I Iook outside and see that the leaves on the liquid amber are changing from green to red and yellow, I see your beloved face.
Your favourite pastime was shopping, anywhere, even to the supermarket and to nurseries to buy plants. Now I have the time to take you I cannot, so I take you with me everywhere in my mind.
Do not grieve for me you said, we found a note you had written years ago in one of your poignant moments. Where there is love there is grief, it is a measure of love, the two go hand in hand and one cannot exist without the other.
Every time you wish to communicate, your “Mr. Lincoln “rose blooms without fail as if you are saying “it will be ok” or “all is well” or “take notice.” If something mysteriously turns up I need or I have been looking for “out of the blue” I know it is you saying “here you are”.
'I am turning into my Mother' I sometimes think when I do something that was totally characteristic more of you than me and as I age it happens more and more. If I have gained these characteristics moulded in time, it can only be an indicator that some of you is instilled into me - for that I am grateful. For without your help and guidance, I could not have survived.
Your Family was your life, not a great one for outside friends, you thrived on the presence and existence of your Children. I hope I was worthy of your unconditional love and devotion.
Your sense of humour, your thriftiness, common sense are all the things I miss, along with the concern you showed about health and well being. It gave me a sense of “there is someone out there who cares about me”, even if, at times, the rest of the world seemed to be at odds with my very existence.
Thank you for my Sister who stayed with me recently. I had not seen her for 10 years but the internet phone and text messaging have kept us in touch. It was lovely to be with someone who understands me and who shows love and concern in the way that you did. We are very much alike in many ways.
I hope I have been and continue to be a good Mother and Grandmother, but you are a hard act to follow Mum - and times have changed, families tend to be more fragmented and work commands much of their time.
Love does not die and your love and support has sustained me throughout my life and it is reciprocated from the bottom of my heart.
Your sole ambition I think in life was to be the best Mother one could have, not only did you achieve that, but a Grandmother extraordinaire.
Happy Mother’s Day Mum.
