Rona Goold Blog

"As another Mother's Day rolls around, I wonder how many generations it will take to implement this massive cultural shift. I'm not too hopeful. My daughter Zoe, 8, told me that when she finishes university, ''I want to have babies, but I don't want to work in a building as well. That would be too much work.'' Reference.

Jodie Thomson in her article in yesterday's Sydney Morning Herald (Friday 6th May 2011) states that 'Mothers want to be seen as an asset rather than a management hassle".

Elizabeth Broderick, Sex Discrimination Commissioner, Jodie notes as saying that the key to change is getting more men involved.

" As long as it is framed as the concern of women only, men will continue to be seen as the secondary parent and women will continue to face discrimination in the workplace on the basis of their sex and family responsibilities"

Seems to me that three major things are needed to address these issues of sex discrimination.

1. Researching and understanding our history.

Many years ago I read an article in a "Women in Psychiatry" magazine that before the industrial revolution, child care was shared between both parents and supported by the community around them.

How was that? Men worked "at home" as blacksmiths, farmers, carpenters, craftsmen and the like. Their living quarters were behind their work places.

Women worked too. Making the family's clothing, bedding, soft furnishings etc and tending their vegie patch and milking their goat.

Both were providers and consumers. Both were present role models and carers for children. And children worked too in age appropriate tasks.

So how did the split occur? Factories by their very large structures housing big machines, demanded men (and children) go "out to work".

As factories started to mass produce the goods women used to do by hand, women became 'consumers', and the single parents of those children too young for the factories.

2. Understanding the changes and their impacts on male and female and parenting roles

The industrial revolution has brought many benefits. It's also created many challenges.

Primarily that relationships and roles has become subservient to the needs of industry.

My brother-in-law works a rotating roster of 12 hour shifts for a local factory - 2 night shifts on, 3 days off, 2 day shifts on, 2 days off, 3 night shifts on, 2 days off, 2 day shifts on and so onn..

It becomes different to predict without a calendar when he will be home. He can't enrol in a local evening college class, he can't play footie with a local team. He's time strapped to do any much on the days he works. Of the 12 hours off, take 8 hours for sleep, and 2 hours for travel, an hour for self care (showering shaving etc) that leave one hour a day "Free". The days he's off, he's too tired to do too much, as his body's time clock tries to adjust.

If he had children, what part could he play in their lives? When could he take them to "footie" or any other sport ? What role model would he provide?

A father who is absent from their lives - either through sleep or work?

Where does this leave young boys and men for their physical, psychological and social development?

This IS a men's issue in its own right.

3.  My question is what strategies can we use to raise awareness so creative solutions can be found?

Jodie asks "how many generations it will take to implement this massive cultural shift?"

Adding a "ceremony to a celebration" is one way to take time out for quality family time. To stop and reflect - what are our needs and goals?  What is feminine and masculine energy? 

And share these challenges with our loved ones.

I'm hoping to explore these issues in a Coming of Adolescence" ceremony for a friend's son's 12th birthday.

It is an opportunity to reflect on some of these issues as he moves more into manhood.

Is this concept of using "Ceremony in Celebrations" as gift  for our nation's children, not just the sort of gift most parents would want for their kids and grand kids?

A healthy life-work balance.

Happy Mothers Day to All!

Will keep you posted as to how this small step in family and community education develops.

Comments welcome